Its the end of the day I am stuck in Stony Brook for about another hour... I missed the train back, yep - classic meg - this trip is just riddled with oh lateness and missing things. Oh well, I go home tomorrow, then no more traveling woahs... I think. I am going to the train station EARLY (like 20 mins), standing out in the cold rain (under one of those little station waiting things) and going to catch that next train no matter what.... I can't miss it.

I had a great day overall. I had a talk with three separate professors (I think I rocked it...) and sat in on a very interesting 19th century theory class. I think this would be a great place to be for the last part of my life as a 'student,' even though you are supposed to remain a student for the rest of your life (I will) just a paying student (or maybe not??). Stony Brook isn't pretentious, it isn't like the big city schools, not to say that all the big city schools are pretentious... It's more or less a great medium between that and Farmington. All the people I have met have been helpful and really nice. I have a great impression about this place, and it seems like the faculty I talked to got a good impression of me. Hopefully it works out, who knows. Living in NYC would be great, living here would be too... Hell, getting into one of these places would be amazing and I will take it, if given!

(later)
I am BACK in the city! finally! got back around 9:30 like i expected. Not too bad I kinda don't remember the train - I zoned way the heck out listening to the Pod.

There is something about the city... The buzz, the life. Its so different than my life, and I want it to be my life! The SB fac members told me after the first or second year a lot of the grad students move to Brooklyn or some other place closer to the city to be a part of it. I know, it sounds like a best of both worlds situation... Who knows. (Am I getting my hopes up, sure, sometimes its worth it... This city would do it to you, everyone who's been here or lived here knows that).

Even though I am tired, and my nerves are still a little frayed from missed busses, trains and everything - this was a spectacular trip. I really learned alot about my possible future. Not so much where it will lead me, but where I am now, and where I might be going. Cards are down my friends. I think I have them picked - its application time this summer and fall. AND if I go to Italy my parents will have to call me and tell me if I got in or not b/c I won't know!!! Wondering if that is a good thing? I've been to all the places I am applying to so it isn't like I am missing anything. I like Long Island alot just from seeing what I saw today, I am continually falling even more in love with the urban bohemia of NYC. I could only wish for the best I tell ya.

I ran into Nao tonight (I have been spelling his name wrong all this time! His long name is Naoki, he said he preferred Nao) I told him I probably won't see him so we exchanged emails. Ill send him one when he gets back to Tokyo on the 28/9th. His friends flew in from Japan today so they are hanging out. Tomorrow I leave. I do and don't want to leave - what can I do. I am going shopping in the morning, I can't WAIT to go to Kid Robot!! YIPPIE! Then the long ride home. I am going to go earlier than later. I kinda want to get home, i kinda don't... I want to see my Dad, I think he needs me right now, we both need each other - saying bye to grandma in all.
Okay i am done with this NYC travel journal - its been great.

Back to your regularly scheduled RPL.

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That could quite possibly be the corny-est title in the world now that I look at it in retrospect. Oh well it sticks.
This morning i woke up got ready then joined Nou and Takahashi (i believe thats what he said his name was, really broken Japanese) on the roof for Japanese food (i didn't have any, it was from last night, ugh). There is a really nice patio area up there, complete with fake green patio turf (I love that stuff, one day I will have a studio whose walls are covered in that stuff!). It was absolutely beautiful up there the bright morning sun shining all over the city, the traffic buzzing below, people in buildings across the way. After, I headed towards NYU stopping at the Starbucks in Astor Place. Plain bagel and a white tea, which i burned my tongue on... Oy. Now, at the NYU library in the basement drinking less hot tea.

Yesterday people kept on asking me directions, and surprisingly I knew the answers to these questions. NY is easy to figure out once you learn your way around and the concept of the grid system. It would be great to live here. The idea of being able to eat any kind of food at any time always just is mindblowing to me. And, to actually do it cheap. At the same time there isn't mountains, there isn't the sparseness and strangeness of Maine. There is filth here, something that really isn't the greatest, but everything is here, which makes up for it. As long as you don't look down your okay. Ive never seen so much puke-colored snow in my life. There is give and take, there always is. I can't wait to see Stony Brook tomorrow, that is going to be so exciting. Must go research, the tea is almost gone...

Thought for further contemplation in research: Image in rock, it matters so much now but back in the Downtown days it didn't really matter so much in the indie scene. Now, its hipster or not be cool... Hrm...

(later)
I am being pulled more and more into New Wave, Television, Richard Hell, Tom Verlaine, Patty Smith... I don't think this is the direction I want to go in the paper (personally, i am starting a collection...). Though, New Wave is SUCH a part of the scene - at the same time I gotta have some balance. Rock and classical etc. I have some new light about my project I am still going to keep it with the focus on Chatham's stuff primarily, but Poss is huge too, as well as the New Wavers.

(even more later)
I wrote a lot today already so Ill keep it brief. Finished up the part of the Hell papers I wanted to see. Even more good stuff and a lot of thinking. This trip has changed my viewpoint of the Downtown entirely. Maybe its because I am staying downtown in the East Village, maybe its because I am in it all around it understanding what it is. Maybe its the people and what they say/said. I don't know, its so interesting though. A lot of contemplation and note taking for the ride back home. In the afternoon I went to the NYPL at Lincoln Center, its nice up there. It really is a haven for seniors walking around LC but oh well. NYPL proved to be not the greatest source, didn't find much at all a few articles. So I went to this little crazy record store on 4th and Cornelia after called Subterranean. It is a Television/Richard Hell/Tom Verlaine haven - awesome but its so small, a bit cheeky. Turned things around, I came back to the room and chilled listening to Hell and the Voidoids.

I think I am almost done researching this. If I go any further I will be stuck in the New Wave scene. This trip has been a turning point. I think I might be done researching for this trip, if i take in anymore I might lose stuff. I need to think about this more.

Nou came back and we talked for a while, then we headed out to St. Marks/Astor Place area to hit all the record shops. Kims of course is INCREDIBLE and I filled up two little notebook sheets of CD I need to get over the next few months. I didn't buy any, I am friday morning, but i am narrowing my selection down because I want to go to the candy shop to buy major case of Bueno (the chocolate from italia - yummmmmm) and I want to go to Kid Robot and get a few toys! We had a lot of fun walking around, we also went shoe shopping. I need to brush up on my sneaker culture and understand the Nike retro thing. I am currently a Puma lover, but those Nike high tops are spectacular, maybe Ill go for a pair of Puma Hi's some day. Had a great steak Burrito at Burritoville. Now, I am back and going to go to sleep soon Stony Brook leaves early in the AM.

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I have found what I need to do in life. I know I've said it before, but this is it. This is exactly what I want to do! I am sitting researching I should be calling someone. Its crazy. (that was earlier on in the NYU Fales special collection, I had to let it out.)

Its later I am in my room. I met all kinds of people tonight from the hostel. A guy named Nou from Japan. We had a wonderful conversation about music, I played him some of my music and he liked it! He is a record producer and drummer. Tomorrow we are going with the guy from Brazil who works here to St. Marks. Crazy I was alone now I am meeting all these wonderful people. This is what traveling should be, and has never been for me. I have always gone with people I know, now I am getting to know people from around the world... Killer. I was just informed that the other Japanese guy here got a job at Morimoto restaurant. Yes, I believe the same Morimoto who is on Iron Chef on the food network. Oh that is great!

Today was awesome. I researched in the NYU library all morning. Reading folder after folder of the Richard Hell papers. They are incredible, a first account of life in the downtowns prime. Just awesome. Tomorrow I am going back at 10 to finish my way through the Richard Hell papers. In the afternoon I plan to go up to the NYPL at Lincoln Center to see if I can find anything. Then tomorrow night St. Marks and wherever. My mom is like don't meet people they will kill you. I think I know my way around life Mom, thanks.
So, back to stuff. I had an incredible interview with Robert Poss today - guitarist from the Band of Susan's and etc side and solo projects. We met at his studio in the East Village. The man has probably a hundred pedals, many guitars, racks to the ceiling studio... I can't wait to have a job and to have something like that. Anyway he is an incredible guy, we had an awesome interview! I heard a side of the downtown that was different and later. I got really inspired by Poss for my own music. So inspired I went over to Guitar Center tonight and jammed out on a sunburst American Highway Strat plugged into a Vox AC 15. I will BUY and AC 15 as soon as my money allows it. I sounded DAMN good on that thing. When to The Strand and Virgin megastore and had okay california roll sushi and an okay tirimisu at whole foods before that.
Need I mention again... I love this place - I hope to God one of the schools down here accepts me. This is it, this is where its at, and this is where I need to grow.
I am doing NYU/NYPL tomorrow ( i said that earlier). Then Thursday I am probably going to Stony Brook. I am going to sit in on a 19th century theory seminar for a while, and I am going to meet some of the faculty. I am glad I brought my new dress clothes, black pant suit and new heeled boots! I am going to rock out looking spectacular! Though, they are going to get wrinkled on the train out. I am really looking forward to the train out, the only part of Long Island I've seen is Nassau county. This should be fun! Everything is in its right place, again...

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And so it is...

Hell, absolute hell over the past couple of days. Who knew that such an innocent research trip could make me not only feel like shit, but make me think that I might not ever get to NYC (holding my breath... seriously, at the moment). With my parents cheering me on - 'you might as well give up'...
First is the two Jet Blue cancellations which causes me to ride on the bus (But I did get a Voucher for another flight from them so maybe just maybe if I go to Pitt in May/June I could fly back to move my apartment). Then waking up early, piddling around and not making the bus at 8:30am. Thinking that somehow I will drive to Boston, sure, park at South Station (mind you, $21.00 a night making $84.00 by the end of the week and no SUPER SHOPPING Friday morning...) and yes make my bus at 11:00am. This realization came to me at 9:00 am about 15-20 minutes outside of Portland. Right-O-Meggo! So I drive, and freak, and cry like the day my Grandma died. Me + driving + crying is a new thing. This has never happened before, let alone me having an emotional breakdown in a couple of years.
Yep, it happened. It's over lets move on - it isn't the end of the world. I had some sense in my brain to call the Fung Wah bus company and ask if I could come later. Little did I know my ticket was good all day and I could come any time (Now, I might leave later on Friday so I can go shopping, I DESERVE IT AFTER TODAY!). At that point I was heading towards Wells I stopped turned around. That entire goof cost me $1.80 in tolls, and I bought $5.00 in premium gas by accident (when not in the right mindset all of a sudden I push the wrong buttons!). Nonetheless, note to self - don't drive in disgruntled state. I hardly remember Portland to Wells somehow going 80-85 (maybe 90) MPH. This was in the car who couldn't go over 45 two days ago and the beginning of my 'Nerve Burnout' (something wrong with the fuel injectors, add bottle of $6.00 fuel injector cleaner and wa-la its like new the car runs perfect). I go back to Portland, I remember that ride back, and go to the bus station. Calm down, get coffee, sit chill. Board bus read chunk of A Brave New World (Which really has me thinking about the future of human kind. The idea of chopping off the top of a cross to create a T scared me, not sure why. When history is gone and religion has no meaning. I believe we are heading this way and it quite possibly could be a good/bad thing. The whole test-tube baby thing is a little disturbing.) while listening to almost all of the John Mayer I had on my iPod. Is is comfort music - not sure but I love his guitar style and he has me contemplating technique and tone constantly. I need to play more, get an amp, a strat. Work on tone and technique - maybe it would enhance the noise project?
No Problem (really) with the non-printed ticket at the Fung Wah bus - I got on instantly and now I am traveling west on I-90 across Mass. Its only been a half hour and I am getting hungry. Mmmm Burger King in CT I think. Yum, my intestines already hurt.
I am kinda glad I brought my laptop. Even though I worry about its safety, I will guard it with my life. It might also be such an asset to my research. When I think back to the last time I did this in April - it was scary, its not that scary now, its more or less something I do. I guess I am becoming even more worldly that I once was at the same time - life is a constant growth process until we cease to grow at the end. Yeah, I don't want to think about that at the moment.
I could only hope the rest of this trip isn't half as doomed as the beginning, who knows maybe I had to climb the mountain before I could fall back down it. Or, vice versa? Sure.
(Earlier on halfway through the Bos to NYC ride)
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Okay its later on I am finally in NYC after a 6 NOT 4 hour bus ride from Boston. My fine bus driver got lost in Queens going past La Guardia, then proceeded to Brooklyn almost to JFK then got on the outskirts of Queens...... UM that took almost 2 hours longer to get from Queens to Manhattan.... After all of this I am so tired. I took a walk around the East Village tonight. It was nice tomorrorw is a huge day! But, this trip has beat me to a pulp already, and I just started. Heres to sleep, cause lordy I need it...

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In the deepest ocean
the bottom of the sea
your eyes they turn me
why should i stay here?
why should i stay?
I'd be crazy not to follow
follow where you lead
your eyes they turn me
sunk without a trace
the bottom of the deep
your eyes they turn me
turn me into fantasies
i follow to the edge of the earth
and fall off
everybody leaves
if they get the chance
and this is my chance ....
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I couldn't have said it better, but Thom Yorke said it for me (the fan side). I've gone through a lot in the past couple of weeks. A lot which I don't want to talk about, a lot which I do - some I want to scream out loud about. As always i am writing this to procrastinate, at least i am a somewhat creative procrastinator.

So, yeah. Lets see I met Rhys Chatham last Monday in Boston at his Guitar Trio gig. We had something like an almost two hour interview, and were still talking before and after the show. The show itself was incredible - I was pretty sure I was going to lose my hearing after listening to a guitar trio with six guitars and lasting around 20-25 mins long - TWICE. I felt like I was at the epoch Max's Kansas City show 30 years later and in Boston. It was killer, this is what I am researching - it is alive I met the composer I saw him play it. This is what musicology should be about (well it is...) but to have an experience like that is incredible. It's real and alive.

I've been in a funk lately over the loss of my grandmother and recovering from the downfall of last week. Recovering with only the things I hold dearest - family, snowboarding, and radiohead. It gets me through the days. Since we are working on analyzing Hail to the Theif (the musicologist side) in the muh150 class I am TAing in, I can't stop listening. Right now its live at Bonnaroo - great concert. I hope the new album comes out this summer it would be rather appropriate... I hope they come over to the US. I hope I meet them. That's a lot to hope for, but hell why not.

I've been asked to possibly collaborate/research on a literary theory/musical analysis of Hail to the Thief by my professor. I might get to co-author. This would be an article, written to be published.....
Ecstatic, I don't quite think that counts as my reaction. more or less well living up to somehow my life's dreams, yes I think that counts. There is so much going on right now. If i think about it It keeps me up. Its amazing. Hell, I am trying to work out a trip to go down to NYC to research over my Feb break in a week or so... Incredible. I can use only so many words to describe just exactly the situation I am in. I could go nuts and swear a lot and be like "ohhhhhmygodholyfuckkiinnnnnshiteiamdoingthiscrazzyassresearchthisismylifeisthisadream???????"
But I won't Ill just quote my initial reaction aforementioned and leave it there. HAHHAHHA!

To watch life move this way. Sublime. How can I worry, how can I just take two inklings of doing stupid things or flipping out or anything. I can't I love it.
I will move on from this amazing experience and create even more incrediblness.
I think the only thing I really worry about is when the bright light burns out. I don't think it does if you know how to fuel it correctly, and that I am learning at the moment.
I think I have quite possibly entered the most exciting time in my life.
And it will only get better...
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we fishies
hit the bottom of
hit the bottom to escape
escape
escape
-arpeggi.rh

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