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So, I am going to continue this little lyrical saga today with one album in mind: Asleep in the Back by Elbow- I just picked it off my shelf to listen to and I was pleasantly reminded of the striking lyrics set to beautiful music. Ahem, another favorite of mine:

Newborn
I'll be the corpse in your bathtub
Useless
I'll be as deaf as a post
If you hold me like a newborn
Whisper what you feel
My badly strung declaration
To You
You'll spend the end of your days
Gently smiling like a newborn
Love not by degrees

Press your lips
To my eyes
Taste my tears
On your tongue,
Pull the blinds
Play our song
Nothings changed
Nothing could be wrong.

Scream in the night
Kick and skrike
Like a newborn
Holding me shaking
Awake in the dark
All of these promises
Kept and unbroken
Tracing the scars
Tracing the scars
Even and cold
As we both become older.
Your arms bound about me
The hush in your voice.
The warmth of your fingers
Entwined around mine
In the eve of our lives
Never a choice.

I had an absolute infatuation with this album circa Sophomore year of high school... Like Radiohead, Elbow has this way of setting ambiguous lyrics to haunting music. In Newborn above we begin with the line: " I'll be the corpse in your bathtub, Useless, I'll be as deaf as a post, If you hold me like a newborn" shocking and metaphorically honest - yet set to Guy's floating voice and the band's flowing arrangement. Elbow, because of their lyrics, is a hard case to deal with. I want the voice to be another instrument in the 'sonic stew' (note: I've been trying to conjure that phrase for weeks!! And instead I've been saying music chutney!) but I CAN'T, the lyrics strike me down like I got hit with a pipe to the back of the head... They dumbfound me- I keep on asking questions: what is the original context, and why? What is going on here, how does it effect me and my connection to the music? I suppose when lyrics become brutally honest, when they pull the mind and heart into different places they effect me on a meta level where I have to think of what the voice is saying instead of considering it as just another instrument in the ensemble. To sum that up: the words have meaning and have an effect on me. I guess my biggest question is what every song writer strives for - how do the lyrics balance with the music perfectly to signify a certain meaning while not becoming just another instrument? I don't know, i guess this is the topic I am willing to delve into.
I've been reading a lot of critical/literary theory over the past year and a half. Semiotics, the signs, etc. My question is how do the sound patterns of words combines with music, and fits into the 'sonic stew'? This question has really got me thinking. But, I will leave this post hanging. Lots to think about before next time; how language/words become signifers and being signified in music.

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Words for me (unlike most humanities peoples) fit into music like another instrument. I hear the voice as important as the guitar, violins, drums whatever. But, there are a few points in my life where lyrics steamrolled me into little meg pancake - I take the meaning of the words into account. So, I guess I should share some of these. As to their meanings, I will leave that out - think what you will.

The pick of the litter:


Moon River (of course sung by Audrey Hepburn)
Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.


All I Need (i believe this made an appearance before on RPL?) Radiohead (also Climbing up the Walls is up there with this - but I am limiting my RH to one).
I'm the next act
waiting in the wings
i'm an animal
trapped in your hot car
i'm all the days
that you choose to ignore

you are all i need
you are all i need
i'm in the middle of the picture
lying in the leaves

i am a moth
who just wants to share your light
i'm just an insect
trying to get out of the night
we only stick like glue
because there are no others

you are all i need
you are all i need
i'm in the middle of the picture
lying in the leaves

it's all right
it's all wrong
it's all right
it's all wrong
it's all right
it's all wrong
it's all right


All is Full of Love - Bjork
Youll be given love
Youll be taken care of
Youll be given love
You have to trust it
Maybe not from the sources
Youve poured yours
Into
Maybe not
From the directions
You are
Staring at
Twist your head around
Its all around you
All is full of love
All around you
All is full of love
You just aint receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are all shut
All is full of love


Tiny Vessels - Death Cab For Cutie
This is the moment that you know
That you told you loved her but you don't.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silverlake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Yeah she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that i was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite i gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did i that day

All i see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
That i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me


Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics
I've been down and
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
Been the upperside of down
Been the inside of out
But we breathe
We breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home


Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working. Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

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Yup, that's it for now at least. I want to talk a little more about why lyrics and how it fits into the song next time....
I guess this marks the longest post i've done - HA!!!

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For a while I thought, why broadcast my life on the Internet? Who and why would someone read it? Are they bored enough to read it? In the age of Web 2.0 people's lives are on the Internet, hell look at Second Life? Anyway I haven't posted - and I continue to look back and wonder why did I post some of the things I did? I don't know.

So things have been quite heavy. No reason why to go into it, ahem see above. However, I should reflect on how I am at the end of my undergraduate career and where exactly will I be at in 2, 3, 6, 12 months time is a clueless answer to ask. Gee, I really don't know what I will be doing at all, or how I will be doing it. My goal since I was a measly, putrid (okay that was for giggles) freshman was to go to grad school. This is something I really really really want to do. I had a nice list of schools but it's being revised a little as I go. I find the process to be a commitment, a total commitment I am willing to accept no questions asked. However, the ideas (that do run in most peoples minds): will I get in, what if I don't, what will I do, how did I get here? (yes, that last one is a take off of the talking heads...) is frankly a little daunting. These are realistic thoughts though. Therefore, one must have many plans of action. I am currently building those. So, my semester starts one week from today and I am really looking forward to it (and my new MacBook Pro -possibly new iPod? Next wed there is a big announcement!) alot. I am going to be swept up in papers, assignments, TAing, etc etc and not realize when December hits that gee I am leaving Farmington. I do want to leave and I don't want to leave. Nostalgia? Whatever? Who knows, it will always be here - yet I like the idea of the rest of the world at this moment (if you have read some of my other entries this last sentence seems to be a constant theme in my blog writing, maybe cause I am over-suppressing the true sadness I will have when I finally leave???)

I just feel so confined as an undergrad right now. Do this do that, jump through hoops, a lack of recognition, it is this way or that, one way street directly to graduation do not pass go do not collect any money but owe it forever! Yay, lots of reasons to be happy (sic). Apparantly it seems that a bachelors degree means nothing, kinda like a HS diploma. It's just a piece of paper. Yes, you can not go to grad school without one, but what does it all come down to? I've got a brain, ideas opinions etc - value them, look at their worth, please?

So with a slightly 'not knowing the future of anything, nothing is settled in my life' attitude I burst forth into my last semester of my undergraduate career. Lets hope in the spring time I can say I have a graduate career to look forward to (if not maybe a job?).

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I think my brain just turned on. I think over the past week I have realized what happiness is, and that life is before me. I have changed so much and not even realized it. But once you get out of your element - into another place, perhaps one can gain perspective. Use others as a mirror, though I usually don't believe people when they tell me that I am good at something or whatever, I have realized my attitude about life has been bullshitting me all kinds of negative vibes leaving me confused at times. I know you probably just read that last sentence and said 'what!?' - go with me - we all realize when we make things harder than they should be. This happens to everyone at one part of their life or another, and when the realization occurs - clarity.

So, the reason for such an obtuse opening is because I went to an incredible conference this weekend, the IASPM-US/Canada joint conference in Boston. Finally I realized I have a place to fit into my upcoming career. I understood the majority of it - it was amazing. There were so many things I was so glad to experience but I am running out of gas due to very little sleep in Boston. So, now after that burst of ideas. It's like I just fell asleep.

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At 7:35pm tonight marks my existence in the world for 23 years. 23 on the 23rd the golden birthday. I know its silly, I am overemphasizing this one. I love it!

The major significance for me is to look back and realize what I have done so far with my little life. The direction I have chosen, the paths I've followed. I think I've done a good job, I've had a lot of good direction advisors along the way.

Sometimes its just standing back and seeing where you are in this world. How big it is and how small you are in the scheme of things.

How I came to where I am,music, was simple - I've always done it, my parents spoon fed me it from an early age and its been a constant.

What I have seen and done so far has been well incredible. But, its not enough and the world awaits me. In the next two weeks I will only have one full semester of undergrad left (I am not counting my trip to Italy next spring-though I will be taking courses I look at that more as life experience...). And now I want the ultimate challenge, a Phd. I don't know where I am going to go, or how I am going to live it... But, I am sure it will be rewarding as hell.

Here we go, once again - into the unknown.

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This is wonderful, enjoy.

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