I think my brain just turned on. I think over the past week I have realized what happiness is, and that life is before me. I have changed so much and not even realized it. But once you get out of your element - into another place, perhaps one can gain perspective. Use others as a mirror, though I usually don't believe people when they tell me that I am good at something or whatever, I have realized my attitude about life has been bullshitting me all kinds of negative vibes leaving me confused at times. I know you probably just read that last sentence and said 'what!?' - go with me - we all realize when we make things harder than they should be. This happens to everyone at one part of their life or another, and when the realization occurs - clarity.

So, the reason for such an obtuse opening is because I went to an incredible conference this weekend, the IASPM-US/Canada joint conference in Boston. Finally I realized I have a place to fit into my upcoming career. I understood the majority of it - it was amazing. There were so many things I was so glad to experience but I am running out of gas due to very little sleep in Boston. So, now after that burst of ideas. It's like I just fell asleep.

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At 7:35pm tonight marks my existence in the world for 23 years. 23 on the 23rd the golden birthday. I know its silly, I am overemphasizing this one. I love it!

The major significance for me is to look back and realize what I have done so far with my little life. The direction I have chosen, the paths I've followed. I think I've done a good job, I've had a lot of good direction advisors along the way.

Sometimes its just standing back and seeing where you are in this world. How big it is and how small you are in the scheme of things.

How I came to where I am,music, was simple - I've always done it, my parents spoon fed me it from an early age and its been a constant.

What I have seen and done so far has been well incredible. But, its not enough and the world awaits me. In the next two weeks I will only have one full semester of undergrad left (I am not counting my trip to Italy next spring-though I will be taking courses I look at that more as life experience...). And now I want the ultimate challenge, a Phd. I don't know where I am going to go, or how I am going to live it... But, I am sure it will be rewarding as hell.

Here we go, once again - into the unknown.

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