11:04 PM - It's been a long time...

I thought I would take a few moments away from working to write, to blog, something I haven't done in such a long time. I miss it. I am working on a massive annotated bibliography on the NY Downtown scene right now. It's massive, I never thought it was going to be this big, but it is.... HUGE! I feel out of touch I am just coming out of being so burnt out, that I am not sure if I am healing from it. For some reason I am really tired, not of music, not of school, but just tired.
I like to just sit around and stare at things. Thats how tired.. At the same time I just want to progress.

It's confusing, you will never know the real picture unless you back up and see the whole thing. And right now it seems like I am stepping back ever so slowly trying to see it, but my glasses are fogged, or my eye has a cloud in it.
I think what I hate right now is the uncertainty of everything in my life. I will leave Farmington soon, which is good and terrible at the same time. Who knows where I will go, where I will be, what I will do. Will I fulfill my idea of wanting to be a musicologist, I hope so, but I think of Mr. Gump and that box of chocolate... (fill in the blank)

Nothing is settled or stable, and I actually hate this; yes, such the strong word hate... I kinda want some sort of order in my life. Most people my age revel in this sort of freedom, I am lost. Maybe I have my hopes up too high, or I hope for too much. But might as well hope for something.... than nothing at all.
So as I go back to writing this long long long annotated bibliography, and somehow an overview of the literature.......... I will try to look at this hard work as being yet another step to the thing I want most, even though I feel as if instead of flying on my bike through the field, like I did earlier in the evening, I am back pedaling slowly (and this isn't a fixed gear bike mind you) and I am some how going nowhere so fast.


I also wanted to post this years attended concerts so far because it's been a splendid year for concerting!!!

Meg's Attended Concerts 2006 (so far...)
Amina/Sigur Ros
100 Years Ago concert w/Steve*
Animal Collective/Barr
Man Man
Joshua Bell
Quilisma's First Show*
Monteverdi Singers - Monteverdi Vespers of 1610*
Lohengrin @ The Met
Bubblefish
UMF Orchestra*
Maine Mountain Chamber Music
Radiohead x2 nights
Nine Inch Nails/Peaches
Damien Rice/Fiona Apple (7/21)
John Mayer/Sheryl Crow (8/29)

*Was in or played/presented in.
(updated 6/25)

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