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Root Position Life

I am meg. I am a student a musician a something, hopefully going to be- musicologist. I generally want to make this a music blog. About my well musical being, if there is such a thing. 

Thursday, December 22, 2005

9:56 PM - The End of the Semester Perspective: Surprise Surprise...

Surprise, Surprise. Overall this has been a great semester, music-wise. I can't even explain all the things I've done and grown from. If only I can just get it together and grow up. Yesterday I just finished my paper on Oliver Messiaen's Quatuor por la fin du Temps. The project was overall very fascinating and I have been wanting to do a project on Messiaen since my freshman year, finally I got there. I wrote the paper with a tripartite perspective of time through apocalypse, eternity, and relativity, yes the General Theory of Relativity. All these subjects could be papers on their own but this was a good starting place, i might just examine one or two perspectives sooner than later. I had a lot of fun with this project, the more musical knowledge I gain the more enjoyable and incredibly fun these papers become. Never had a problem wanting to write them in the first place - its just becoming more and more a pleasure to do. Hopefully this is what grad-school is going to be like, if i ever get there/get in..... Unfortunately there is a downturn to the end of this semester as well. And I will quote radiohead for this one, its like waking up and sucking on a lemon. Somehow, and i really don't know how I pulled a not so wonderful grade in my history class which of course killed my gpa and any thoughts of having this nice wonderful, otherwise, semester come to an end. I thought I nailed the final, and I thought my journals were okay 16 pages total, seriously! Oh what a surprise... I can only blame myself. Between doing too much and of course giving music things all the attention well maybe I deserve it? Hrm. (enter erased dumbass wise crack here). Yeah I feel pretty stupid after probably writing one of the best things I have written so far just because of another stupid class. Good grief, the undergrad has such a vicious cycle. Anyway I thought I had everything in its place this semester, that it was going to turn out good, every time that I think its going to be good oh it usually turns out pretty bad, and this is just another example.

Well now I can look to next semester and improving on my faults... I am going to start reading soon for a few of my classes. I have also decided to re-organize my life, cut out things that are not needed and make time to study things many days a week, like I have never done before. I lack discipline, its terrible, I think I have had my wake up call now - I kind of really want to go to grad school no more f-ups. I guess its realizing that I don't have a big red and blue S on my chest, no your not supermeg get over it be human you can only take so much. I realize this post is turning into a rant, this blog is turning away from its original intent as well...
Researching Quatuor has made me wonder about next research topics. For music seminar we are going to be doing smaller papers instead of big huge ones, which in a way is a relief cause I want to save the big ones for next year and my undergrad thesis. I think I might tackle Machaut and/or the Isorhythm next, that just might be a lot of fun. Then I was thinking about doing something with early opera, how I kind of cringe at the thought, but it will be good for me like spinach... I don't know why I don't like opera, I like some 20th C. opera but thats a given with my tastes. Who knows what will come next, I would love to get back into Monteverdi but I think Ive been on that island for too long. There is always Beethoven class next semester and of course Bach is coming up in music sem. I don't know I kinda have a desire to get away from the big names and learn about the less known composers. Good ol' canon has got me pegged.

And I also want to mention... I've started the 'sound project over break'... I have one piece done and another in the works, tons of ideas on the table. I don't really want to give details because its better to hear - than read about the pieces. I just hooked up some of the old equipment that I haven't gotten to in the lab yet and it is incredible stuff! I love to just dial in sounds and sit there and play my guitar or the synths like a drunken vegetable. Seriously I can get some great soundscapes out of this stuff, its SO exciting!!! I just need to remember to bring my violin bow from the yucky violin (or get a cello bow for better tension) down to the lab when I am working on stuff, it needs some jimmy page/sigur ros inspired bowed guitar.

PS- And the great part is I don't have to worry about becoming stupid during break, I already did somewhere around the middle of the semester! Gah!

Oh well... I am out. How I wish things were different, now I will quote Finding Nemo: Keep Swimming...

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